xp_scorpion: (Scorpion)
[personal profile] xp_scorpion
What the fuck happened to my plans for a quiet fucking birthday hanging out with Kurt?

Date: 2013-10-28 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-maverick.livejournal.com
Horrific infestation of things that call themselves 'friends'.

Many happy returns.

Date: 2013-10-28 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Go to hell, I saw your ass there too.

Date: 2013-10-28 01:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-maverick.livejournal.com
I hope you enjoyed the view.

Date: 2013-10-28 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
She totally admitted that it was an exceptional view.

Date: 2013-10-28 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Fuck that. He's too old to fuck. But don't worry Tabs, I told him you're hot for him.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
I appreciate beautiful aesthetics.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Great, I'll let him know you named your vibrator after him then.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
You are a terrible person and one day your puns will come back to haunt you.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Fuck off, Ramsey. You were there and there dressed. I'm pissed at you too.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-cypher.livejournal.com
OH NOES you have people who like you well enough to come wish you happy birthday. What an absolutely terrible fate to endure.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Which one of you found out the date, anyway? I didn't tell you fuckers.

And you showed up in pants, so double fuck you. Or not. Some birthday party, a bunch of assholes show up when I'm hanging out with my brother so I can't even get laid.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
Don't you know Doug is magic? And not just in his pants?

Date: 2013-10-28 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Why didn't you tell me another one was named Doug? I could set you assholes up.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
Are we talking about my fictional personal massager collection again? Because I can name one after you, too.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Awww, Tabs, I'm flattered. If you wanted to fuck, all you had to do was ask.

Date: 2013-10-28 02:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
Hey, Cammie, do you want to fake sleep together? Like my fake porno collection?

Date: 2013-10-28 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Fuck, you make it sound like a sleep over. Like I should show up in foot PJs with stuffed animals and hair curlers.

Date: 2013-10-28 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
I would pay good money to see you in footie pajamas and curlers.

Date: 2013-10-28 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-plosive.livejournal.com
Not even if I go to the adult toy store with you? So cruel. I'm totally fake breaking up with you.

Date: 2013-10-29 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-cypher.livejournal.com
_I_ would pay good money for photographic proof of that. :)

Date: 2013-10-29 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Yeah, still not fucking happening.

Date: 2013-10-28 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
I believe that one David North has spilled the beans (I am sure they were castor beans, which can be made into deadly sarin gas) on your date of birth.

(Does this mean I cannot gift to you a box of coffee grounds infused with volcanic ash from Mt. St. Helens? Because while I am aware we dislike each other, I am still convinced gifting you with food is the best way to keep you from licking my tea mugs)

Date: 2013-10-28 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
Already did that today. Try again, Frenchie.

Date: 2013-10-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
Then your birthday gift is free tea mugs.

Date: 2013-10-28 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scorpion.livejournal.com
And they were the fancy one too, oh joy!

Date: 2013-10-29 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-maverick.livejournal.com
Because personnel files are under my purview and are available upon request to those with requisite access.

Come now, Angie. You know better than to frame the administrative staff -- you already have licked mugs; how many more annoyances do you want?

Date: 2013-10-29 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-cypher.livejournal.com
Note to self: cancel the male strippers, then.

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Carmilla Black

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